How do you console a young woman, who was able to carry her pregnancy to term, only to give birth and be told that the baby died? What do you say to her at that moment of grief and loss?
The long walk of carrying the pregnancy for 9 months, with all the intricacies of the pregnancy alone is enough to make any woman cower. Now after the baby is born, she has not had the opportunity to carry her bundle of joy only to be told hours later, that the bundle of joy, is now nothing but a mere wrapping of a breathless soul.
I personally came close to losing my baby on two occasions last year, but thanks be to God, I gave birth successfully, but here I am standing next to this young woman – My sister-in-law who had just lost her merely a day old baby to the cold hands of death.
They had just gotten married almost a year ago and had been excited about the news of a beautiful baby on her way, here they are shock and devastated by the news. Losing a baby is the most devastating and personally unique experience any individual can go, it is particularly deeply felt when there is an anticipation of a new life and joy into the family.
The circumstances surrounding the death of that little angel to me is still questionable, on getting to the hospital which took us hours to get to and finding what looks a dilapidated uncompleted building as a hospital was a big slap, how could anyone come to such a place like this, without exaggerating I will not which my enemy to go to such hospital for the treatment of a headache.
The death of a new baby is one of the most painful things that happen to a family. You may never be able to get over it, As I stood by the young mother, trying to console her, I couldn’t help the tears that rolled down my eyes, as I tried to console, and encourage her at the same time. As much as the lady tried to control her tears, the young husband seemed calm, but he was also grieving.
Men and women grief differently, and they both determine how long they want to grief and move on to face the future. their dream of holding their baby girl is gone, I was shown the picture of the baby, and once again I couldn’t hold back the tears.
It will end in praise, was all I could say to the couple because I was also trying to deal with their loss in my own way, sometimes in helping those who have suffered loss, it is often very difficult to know what to say or do.
What can you do to help people grieving their loss?
Listen- Be there for them and listen, sometimes that all the family needs.
Support the Family- I found that both my brother-in-law and his wife, were not grieving together. In as much as my brother in law was willing to talk and explain to people in details, how the whole thing happened, the wife was just quiet most of the time.
Choose your words carefully- Many couples find certain sentiments unhelpful. certain comments and compliments can undermine their grief, and belittle their sadness.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep..
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