In search of the woman… within.

I wasn’t sure I will write any post today on my Womanhood by design page, but as I sat to review my day, and catch up on some reading, just thought I should drop something for you that is benefiting me at the moment.

I am reading a new book, BECOMING COMPLETE, by Marion Duckworth. it focuses on the journey of finding one’s true identity as a woman, through the eyes of God and not any other way.

This book resonates so much with me, and I am so grateful that it was one of the books I picked up while in Spain. In recent past, I have been searching for meaning and the trueness of my being, that at one point I had this mantra, that I was always confessing, ” let the real me manifest” don’t get me wrong, but you will agree with me that as women, we are often defined by the roles we play, and the relationships we function in so much so  that it is almost difficult to define us, without those accolades.

We dashed from accomplishment to accomplishment, from one role to another like an actress in a simultaneously running play. This is the woman, almost gasping for air as we switch from one role to another.

Society has always dictated our definition, from generation to generation culture to culture, it message remain the same, though the method may have changed from time to time.

In today’s world, the social media and ad agencies hype “the woman” as a slim, muscle-toned, fit slayer, who is either making decisions in a skyscraper office or fixing dinner for her family, a grade A housewife with sanitized bathroom, smelling fresh all tidy home, well behaved children and her husband’s on a weekend trip with his pals on ski slopes scoring goals over business deals.

The Church is not left out in this, the church defines the woman as well. Some decades ago, it was home, wife, mother, Sunday school teacher, good women society, Adam’s rib. Holding up role models like Mary, the mother of Jesus, and Dorcas who sewed coats for the less privileged.

As time passed by, the church began to modify its message with regards to women just has it’s been modifying in other areas, messages centred around the Proverbs 31 woman became the trend in Churches.

The modern woman charted her course, just like me, I’ll finish school, get started in my field, marry and have children, unconsciously that became like a formula for success. Education plus career plus Christ plus money plus love/marriage/ family equals self-actualization. This sequence of events differ from woman to woman, but does it all sum up to self-actualization?

I don’t think so, because if it does, why do I still feel that is been a wife all there is to my life? am I here on this side of eternity only to be called someone mummy? Is this all there is to my music ministry?.

My discontentment is growing by the day, and it is not because I am ungrateful for these accomplishments and accolades of wife, mother, CEO, artist, whatever whatever. “is this all there is?”

If only I was more than just mommy and Babes. if only there was a woman inside my nightgown who didn’t have to do something for somebody, not fragmented and unsure of who she is because she ‘s trying to be so many things.  A woman with her own identity.

A Woman with her own identity

Not lost in the world complexities 

and ideas of who she’s meant to be…

In search of the woman within me.




Let’s do something here. If you are a woman reading this, can I ask you to join me in doing this journal exercise?

Write a paragraph describing yourself, but do not mention your roles or accomplishment or achievements. The aim is to be able to tap into the real you inside, without the many hats we wear that tends to define us.  I will love to hear from you.


Photo credit; Google.

(c. OBA2018.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Rachel Ann says:

    Going to try your writing prompt now. Love this idea, thank you for fostering a conversation about this topic for us readers. As a new momma, I have actually been mulling this over a lot as of late. I’ll title it: The woman within as a new blog post. Best wishes to you!


    1. OBA says:

      Thanks so much Rachel, for stopping by and actually participating in the prompt, this gesture of yours is so appreciated. Best wishes to you dear friend.

      Liked by 1 person

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