Commitment precedes resources.

Do you find the Old Testament books hard to read sometimes? I do! My favourites books in the Old testaments are the Psalms, Proverbs and those other ones that are poetic in nature. I tend to read some of those a lot.

As a practice, I have a daily habit of reading 5 chapters of Psalms every day for the whole month and I repeat it month after month, I got this from Christian Artist  John Chisum who came to facilitate a seminar here in Lagos about 3 years ago. 5 psalms a day and in 30 days you would have finished the book of Psalms, and you can repeat the same pattern all year round. I THINK YOU SHOULD TRY IT.

So I am shiting gear to study the person of Ruth, the book of Ruth is quite short and the story is quite intriguing. I know that my posts in the coming week will have a bit of the “Ruth influence” in it.

I know you are familiar with the story of Ruth and Naomi, so I won’t really bore you with the long story, but there are divine principles that lurked with the chapters and verses of the phenomenal book, that can not be overlooked, these principles can be applied to our day to day living.

CHAPTER ONE IN A NUTSHELL. Ruth 1:1-22

Ms.Naomi and her husband and their two sons, went to a foreign land for greener pastures, while in the land of sojourn, the inevitable happened, The husband dies, the sons died, now Ms.Naomi is left with two women, who are now widows like her.

Well there is nothing to look forward to in this foreign land she might have thought to herself, so she decided to head back to her home country since the young women were daughters of the foreign land, it would be better they stay back and start life all over again, after all they are still young and beautiful, they can still remarry! As for mama Naomi,”aint nobody got time for that”.

The other lady, after much persuasion, decided to stay back in her home country, but Ms Ruth declined, she won’t stay back, she is going wherever mama Naomi wants to go!

She had lost her husband too, there was no reason for her to hang on to the family name again, especially when it is the mother in law suggesting that she finds her way to a much better life. She made a firm resolute to go where her mother in law goes, and whatever her mother in law does she was ready to do.

ruth and naomi 2

Little did she know that her commitment to stay will lead to all kinds of open doors not just for her, her mother in law and even many generations to come- The result of her commitment made her be in the lineage of the Messiah, who would have thought that a Moabitess, a complete stranger would end up being a great-grandmother to the saviour of mankind.

Commitment is one of the strongest keys to achieving any form of success, in life, in marriage, business, friendship, and all other feats in life. Without commitment, nothing worthwhile and tangible can be achieved, when there is no commitment, there will be hesitations, uncertainty and doubts, but once you resolve to commit to a mission or task, things begin to fall in place.

I started writing a new book last year, but somewhere along the line I lost the book about halfway into finishing the first draft, it was as if I wanted my whole world collapsed. where would I start from? I wanted to give up on it, but the passion burning my heart wouldn’t let me. so I made a commitment to start all over again, As soon as I resolved that, doors started opening, I enrolled in writing classes, got a mentor to help me with accountability and now, the writing is even much better than what I had lost initially, I also learned how to keep my writings against any kind of loss.

The key is to commit –Commitment- the moment you commit, God moves on your behalf and a whole streams of events begin to flow to your advantage, Just like it happened for Ruth.

All manner of unforeseen events, incidents, meetings, people and material assistance that you never thought could happen -begin to occur, when you commit yourself totally and unreservedly.

 

(c.OBA2018@Thekingsoracle.

For your own peace, stop the following!

It’s a beautiful Thursday morning, the boys are back to school, so there’s this unusual quiet around the house, except for the little prince, it just the two of us playing house as the husband is out doing what he enjoys doing -Work.

It took a while to get out of bed, as the young lad is still on breastmilk, eating round the clock especially at night till the early morn, often leaves me flat out hungry and tired.  As I tried to get myself out of bed,  I had to get started on the check my phone for messages, emails and all kinds of stuff, I am really trying to stop checking my phone first thing in the morning.

peace of mind.

One of the things that get me aggravated is some of these WhatsApp groups. Some of them can be a pain in the neck.I have tried to get myself out of some, I  succeeded in some, others I am still working on, nevertheless, most of them have truly been beneficial.

Some of these groups or the people who added you, into the group most times expect so much from you, I remember one of them that I exited not too long after I exited from the group the lady that added gave me a call and was asking so many questions that I wasn’t even in the best frame of mind to answer.  You see the biggest source of emotional suffering comes from expecting too much from others.

Most times the fault lies with us, expecting too much from friends and family is only asking for trouble, we make unrealistic demands, and when such demands are not met we get angry and that often times severe the ties that bind us together.  That’s one of the loopholes I have discovered in some of this groups, in a bid to have common ties, they sometimes become a nuisance. So how can you manage such relationships and space?

#1. STOP EXPECTING PEOPLE TO ALWAYS DO RIGHT.

Everyone is different and each of us, have our own social and moral and cultural beliefs. Don’t expect people to do the things you consider to be the right thing to do, even if they do it doesn’t mean they agree with you. Remember you are raised differently what seems to be the “right” with you, might not beseeming right with others. Focus on your beliefs and morals, don’t force yours on others.

#2. STOP EXPECTING EVERYONE TO AGREE WITH YOU.

You will agree with me that there is a certain feeling of validation you get when people seem to agree with you, you become comfortable, but when the reverse is the case, you get anxious and uptight. It is pointless and really harmful to entertain such negative energy when people don’t angry with you on some grounds.

#3.DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO BE PERFECT.

Afterall you are not perfect either, I think it is safe to always expect that the best of men are men at their best, that way when they fall short of our expectations of them, because they will, just like you and I, We are not too disappointed. Try to be satisfied with the best you can get from others because we all have our limits.

#4. STOP EXPECTING THEM TO ALWAYS UNDERSTAND YOU.

Don’t waste time explaining yourself to others, I used to do that, what matters is you do understand yourself. if they don’t understand you, it doesn’t make you less a person that you are. Quit explaining yourself to others.

 

Monday Motivation. #mind your language.

Proverbs15-1

 

It’s another beautiful Monday, and I love Mondays. Today I am reminded of the importance of words, especially soft words in the face of a conflicting situation or argument. Over the weekend I had a rather harsh session with my teenage boy, and out of my anger and frustration, I said a word I shouldn’t have said at all.

Immediately I became very remorseful, and almost at the point of being very hard on me. for the life of me, i wouldn’t have imagined myself referring to someone with that word let alone my son, but I did, and didn’t find it funny.

Though I apologised to him immediately, for a while I still felt beat down, here I am always telling him and his younger brother to be mindful of the words that say to each other and to their peers as well, I am the same person violating the command…  A case of practice what you preach!

I felt like I had failed them by saying that word, but afterwards I had to juggle myself out of the thought, because I knew if I continue to linger in that remorseful state , the enemy might want to take advantage and actually make a big deal out of it, if you know what I mean.

There was more to me just saying the word, it came as a result of the state of my heart , over time I had allowed  my anger to take root, and not exercise self control with respect to my parenting skill, and if you are like me, with 3 boys to deal with, sometimes you don’t even remember anything called self-control. when it comes to discipline and leading them aright. I guess Mom is still a working progress afterall, and the fact that i am mommy does not mean I am super -holy, far from it.

Despite the fact that the power of life and death lies in the tongue, as we have seen from scriptures, it takes the grace of God and a deliberate consciousness to be slow to speak in the world we find ourselves today, therefore we must at all times be mindful of the words we speak especially to our growing Children  . if you cant keep your cool in dealing with them, neither will they, especially when they are attaining that age of accountability and taking responsibilities for their thoughts and action.

Having appropriate control and response to our emotion is a lifelong human challenge, not just for teenagers or children alone. Therefore it is important to always go to God and His word in order to respond appropriately per time and by discernment, so when I was having my time alone with Him this morning while looking at the perfect law of liberty I knew that He was lovingly reproving me for my outburst the other day.

There is no relationship that will not have issues at what point or another, but one of the strongests weapon for managing the relationship and people skill is knowing how to communicate effectively to minimise outbursts, anger, wrath and all the in betweens, even in parenting too. I realized that my apology to the young Man immediately I uttered that word to him, and my remorse showed him something about His MOM, that made him to come back to hug me, saying, “Mom, I’m sorry I made you angry in the first place”.

I was also sorry for not being able to control myself too, may be if i was a little bit gentle , the response would have been different. But I know better now, that a gentle answer turns away wratrh, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Lord help me to be control my emotions in the face of an imminent outburst. Teach me to be slow to speak and slow to wrath. Help me to a good model of a self control woman to my immediate environment.

So help me God!

(c.OBA2018@Thekingsoracle.

You have a way with words.

Hello beautiful people, welcome to a new week. A fresh opportunity t start again, try again, it’s an unfolding of new opportunities today. This week is quite loaded for me, and I am so excited about the great unfoldings that God has in store for me.

Earlier today, I shared something on my Instagram page like I do every morning, the summary of my Monday motivation is centered on the power of our words. I know you will agree with me that the words that we speak have the ability to make or mar, to build or demolish, to unify or to cause disunity.

Words have the power to change an individual, group and even a nation. And from the pages of the Bible, we know that the universe we are in was framed by words… In the beginning was the word, and that word has been given to humanity to create and recreate…

At every given moment in our daily life, we are using words to convey and to express. Research shows that the average woman uses about 5000 words per day, while the average man uses about 2000 words. In every sphere of life, we use words!

How much of those words do we channel rightly? How much of those words do we use positively?

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Words truly have the power to turn things around and you should use them for good, you should use words to inspire others and add value to people’s lives.

As a musician and writer, the use of words is one of my main tools to live a life of purpose. As a woman/wife/mother, the words that I speak go a long way to shape the kind of dynamics in my home and in my family, so it becomes a deliberate and intentional effort for me make sure that my words are seasoned with grace to build up or to inspire the hearer. This is where the real work is.

It is so easy to forget the power of our words as we use them day in, and day out and sometimes our tongues leaves us in great regret if we don’t use them wisely. I was meditating on the book of Matthew 27-How Jesus was handed over to Pontius Pilate. It was rather saddening to hear the people respond to Pilate the Governor, after so much debate about crucifying Christ, Matthew 27:25

And all the people answered and said, His blood be on us and on our children.

This statement is too heavy and not only that it was also transgenerational, at that moment they didn’t know the gravity of the words they’ve just uttered because they were in the heat of the moment. They used their words to pronounce a curse on themselves and even on their unborn innocent children.

How can I be conscious of the words I speak?

From the pages of scriptures, there are many verses on the wise use of words, I will like to share  one or two and try to break it down into bits

1 Peter 3: 10 -Message Bible

Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, here’s what you do: say nothing evil or hurtful.

We all want to enjoy life to the full, see our daily lives filled with joy and happiness, all these can be experienced if we become intentional about the words that flow out from our mouth…  say nothing evil or hurtful

Remember, You have a way with words…

(c. OBA2018@Thekingsoracle.

 

Who’s driving your red car?

I bet you’re wondering what the above question is all about. That was my thought too when I was asked that same question sometimes back. I had registered for a masterclass in goal setting and clarity exercise. That move was a bold one for me because the opportunity for enrolment came at such a time that I needed to understand the next level for me.

I have come to realize that as a believer, an unapologetic Christian, sometimes when you pray and ask God for certain things or, you are simply asking for direction, His response to those prayers are often times what we least expect.

Back to my story, I saw the advert of the Masterclass and all that the registration required, A part of me, wanted to jump to it, but the other part of was rather reluctant especially when I saw the requirement in terms of payment, ‘in this economy? you want to pay that amount for a one-day Masterclass session‘, ol’girl you better have a rethink? That was the other part of me.

I summoned up courage and gather all my savings at that time, went ahead to register. At the point of registration, I knew there was no turning back, not after parting with such amount of money anyway.

The day came, and I drove myself all the way to the other side of Lagos, I had left the house early enough, as my custom, when I am not too familiar with place and I have to be there on appointment, I make sure I leave home about an hour or more in order to find my way around, and knowing Lagos with unexpected traffic jam,you don’t   want to risk being late. Though I still lost my way to the venue, thank goodness I got there before the class started.

There were about 15-20 people from different walks of life who also registered for the same Masterclass, most were already seated as I walked into the small room where the class was going to hold. As soon as we were all seated a stout looking young man probably in his mid-thirties walked in, greeted everyone and introduced himself as the assistant to the Coach who will be taking us through the session, with his contagious smile, as he greeted us , I couldn’t help but notice the joy in his voice as he kept talking to us- he was in his zone doing what he loved and I could tell because you could see passion oozing out of him as he spoke and moved about.

He introduced the main coach, as he made his way into the class. Clad in his usual neat shirt over a pair of dark blue denim, Coach L is unarguably one of the best dress men in town, I have seen him on various social media platforms and can tell that he had a knack for style and simplicity. After the exchange of pleasantries across the board it was time for the real deal.

I sat in the first row of the class so that I will not miss out on anything, he approached us one after the other, asking a different question from each person. When he got to me, his question was,”who is driving your red car?

Immediately, I traveled back in time to my undergraduates days in the university, I used to dream of having a sleek Porsche red car, those memories came rushing back in milliseconds as I asked myself, “how did he know about my red car? No one else knows about “the red car” except me, I thought to myself. But he wasn’t really talking about a red car in the real sense of it.

As we progressed on in the class, he explained the concept behind “who is driving your car? it’s all about letting other people take control of life. Giving them the power to steer the wheel of your being- in essence, they become the driver and you are the passenger, as you watched them make decisions for you- They are driving your red car!

As we went on, I discovered that over time I had given others precedence to control my life. As a growing child back in the days, I remembered how I desperately wanted to be accepted by my peers and found myself in a compromise.

Because of the need for validations from others, you end up becoming a slave to what they want, running here and there to please others and never turning in to your own needs , the desire to please others squashes your own dreams and you end up molding your life to fit the opinion of others- being there done that. As I write this a scripture comes to mind in the book of Isaiah which talks about the lawful captive being free from the mighty.

In other words, you are somewhat a lawful captive when you give the rein of your personality and your true happiness for others to control. So how do you put a stop to the control of others in your life, or better put, how do you take back the steering of your red car- and take full responsibility of the ride because you want to start driving your car?

Take Responsibility

You must have the courage and confidence to start making your own decisions. The truth is most times when we worry about the opinions of others, it is actually a projection of own fears and internalized judgment. What would happen if I decide to quit this job? what will my family say? But once we are able to confront the fear you will discover at the end of the day, that others let go very quickly.

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Stop Comparison

I believe it was last year that the Lord dropped something like the 3C’s code in my heart- you are not competing, you are to compare and don’t compromise. That was a major mantra that I am still running with. stop looking at what everyone else is doing and fix your eyes on your own lane, because no one’s life is the same as others, therefore do you! a comparison is like self-imposed torture do not do it.

Boost your Self-worth.

Yes, you are allowed to boost your self-esteem, you are the only one that can give yourself that esteem nobody else, not even your spouse or children, just you. Stop overvaluing the opinions of others above yours. Celebrate yourself even when you fail at something because that failure just means that you’ve discovered how not to do that same thing again.

If someone has been driving your red car, it’s time to take back your car keys and start driving yourself.

(c. OBA2018@Thekingsoracle.

 

What sacrifice are willing to make?

Wow! it another weekend people. This month is fast running out. Well, it’s all good for as long as you are pursuing purpose with each passing day. You are in safe hands.

Earlier today I tried visualizing how my whole week had panned out from Monday till today, and for some reason, I gave myself a pat in the back because I was actually able to move in the direction of my dreams to the best of my ability.

Though it wasn’t 100%, It was still passed mark, unlike before, where I would just be lost in so many activities that were not necessarily pointing in the direction of my pursuit of happiness.

Lately, in order to be able to achieve my goals, I have been able to develop a system which enables me to take at least 2-3 hours every day to separate myself from the rest of the world and just focus on the things I need to do more to foster growth. An all-around growth in all the areas of my life, and I have discovered that in reaching your goals there major factors that you must consider in order to enjoy that passion filled the everyday life of yours.

angelina jolie

 

TIME

Calving out time out of busy schedules to pursue the goals and dreams in your heart isn’t always easy, especially for a new mom like me, yes I have two young boys who can run a few errands without supervision a little lad who is barely 6 months old, who is practically glued to mummy, so it so hard that I had to forfeit certain pleasures in order to have that time to myself – Now I cut down time spent in front of the TV. After I make sure everyone’s had dinner at about 7pm, that’s the time the baby is also set for bed. I  take off to the other room and I am there until about 11pm or thereabouts touching base with the vision board.

ENERGY

You will agree with me that energy is dissipated in one form or another as you progress towards the life you want, physical energy is there, which is quite easy, but what about mental and or emotional energy?  blocking your mind in order to avoid stress from trivial issues that drain your creative ability. Sometimes I find myself in that situation and I will just drop everything, but lately, I am learning to just be silent about certain things, and let those little problems roll over my shoulder so that it doesn’t drain the life out of me, having all boys to handle can sometimes drain enthusiasm out of a mother. that’s in the home front, you can also apply such rule to your work life, for example, you decide not to talk about work after office hour because you don’t to bring in the office atmosphere back to your personal space.

SOCIAL SACRIFICE

As a result of the desire to become a better version of myself,  and with only 24 hours in a day to focus on those goals sometimes you have to be selfish and dedicate the majority of the time to pursue those goals, what that often translate into is that you might not be there all the time to watch your favorite TV shows with the family, or even have the luxury of time to hang out with loved ones on special occasions and all the other events.

However, the consolation here is that those affected the most by this sacrifice will be the ones to enjoy when the rewards of all the sacrifices begin to show in tangible realities. when they see that you are more content and fulfilled in your life it will also rub off on them because your success is their success.

 

EXCUSE

Excuses, excuses here and there. I once had a bag full of excuses, “I don’t have the time”, “how will I take care of my family”, ‘i’m too scared’. The honest truth is that we are more comfortable not doing the things that need to be done, so we come up “fabricated fear” which paralyzes us out of sheer laziness. we make excuses for why we can’t, and then give pleasure to standing still in life, and justify our inaction with the “I can’t” which cheats us out of a fabulous fulfilled life.

My question to you now is are you ready to rid off all the excuses that are hindering the pursuit of greater you in every area of your life?  I am so ready because I am tired of just fantasizing about a great everyday life when all I need to do is make a commitment and damn the excuses.

 

Yours in the journey 

 

(c. OBA2018@Thekingsoracle.

Photo credit: Pinterest.com

How my life took a turn….Life Lesson 1

2017, Will forever be an unforgettable year of twists and turns for me. I don’t think I will ever forget that year, not in a hurry anyway.

Towards the year-end 2016, I embark on certain journeys to becoming a better version of me. I enrolled in Leadership Institutes, Purpose academy here and there.to crown that year up, I signed up for a goal setting master class with one of Nigeria’s finest Life coaches.

By the time I was done with the Masterclass, oh my, This girl was ready to take 2017 by storm. I had just been thoroughly tutored on how to maximize every 12 areas of my life for peak performance, talked about being turbocharged. Yes, I was ready…

As we entered into the new year, I started off with a strategy session I had planned to do with a few of my friends in attendance, my living room was filled with people who were professional, business owners in their own right. we had a long session and it was a success from the feedback I got afterwards.  One mission accomplished and ticked off, it looks like it going to be a great year after all.

I had also started writing a new book, with the tasks of writing at least 500 words per day, things were really looking up.  with regards to my music ministry assignment, I had the privileged opportunity to minister in songs to inmates at the maximum prison in Lagos, that was a surreal experience for me, as I saw men and women who were incarcerated, without any hope of amnesty, worship God with their whole heart as if there was no tomorrow.

Things were happening according to plan, except for the fact that I began to notice an unusualness in my body physiology, to the extent that one afternoon, my appetite took a strange turn, that was when I knew something wasn’t right. For the life of me, I didn’t pay any attention to my menstrual circle because it wasn’t always a regular flow and because I was almost nearing the menopausal stage I couldn’t be bothered so to speak.

Little did I know what I was in for. Still feeling that unusualness in my body, I decided to take a pregnancy test just to be sure it wasn’t what I was not thinking. Lo and behold the test came positive. I WAS PREGNANT!!

No way! How come? This must be a mistake! Not me? LORD why me? This is not what I planned for? at what age? after how many years? This must be some kind of joke. As the many questions reeled out in my mind, it seems my whole world of excitement and enthusiasm for the new year just collapsed.

Instead of being excited about the pregnancy, the feeling of sadness and disappointment overwhelmed me. I wasn’t expecting this kind of news in my wildest imagination. Almost immediately all the drive to tick off my pursuit for the year was replaced by hormonal imbalance.

Proverbs 19:21

Many are the plans in a man’s heart but it is the plan of God that will prevail.

This scripture was my number one lesson. I had planned so many things that I would do by God’s grace, little did I know that God had a major plan for me. Despite the fact that I went into depression for months, He never failed to always reassure me, that everything was going to be alright. In case you are wondering why I was sad and depressed over something that I should be jumping for Joy. Well! I didn’t ask to be pregnant, as far as I was concerned I had been done with making babies for over 12 years now.

Another Scripture also in Proverbs, say;

Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.

Pro.27:1

It’s okay to make plans, don’t get me wrong because we cant just go about living life without focus, but at the same time we should bear in mind that life’s unpredictable and we shouldn’t presume on it, on the other hand, there is no need to worry because we know that God is in control. I couldn’t realise that sooner, I was blinded by the fact that all my plans and desires had been ruined by my new status. I couldn’t fathom in my myopic mind that God had a better idea for my 2017 than I could imagine.

 

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Feeding my newborn after the naming ceremony on the eighth day.

 

TO BE CONTINUED!

(c)OBA@Thekingsoracle2018.